Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
When a trick went wrong, an amateur magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two children into armchairs. He tried everything he knew to reverse the trick but when all attempts failed, he took them to a hospital.
He paced up and down in the waiting room for hours until finally a junior doctor came out to see him.
“My wife is a couch and my two children are armchairs,” said the magician. “I need to know how they’re doing.”
The doctor glanced at his notes and said, “They’re comfortable.”
He paced up and down in the waiting room for hours until finally a junior doctor came out to see him.
“My wife is a couch and my two children are armchairs,” said the magician. “I need to know how they’re doing.”
The doctor glanced at his notes and said, “They’re comfortable.”
Bloke's on his honeymoon, after the first night, 5am he comes downstairs with his fishing gear.
The night porter says "Excuse me for asking sir but the first night of your honeymoon, I thought you'd be at it all night with your new bride."
"Can't" he replies, "She has really a bad dose of the clap."
"Oh, sorry to hear that sir but one hears anal is all the rage these days."
"Can't do that either, she always seems to have a bad dose of diarrhoea."
"Well what about a blow job"
"No not that either, herpes of the mouth."
"I suppose a hand jobs out the question"
"yes she has a real bad case of dermatitis."
"Well excuse me again for asking sir but why did you marry her?"...
"For the maggots"
The night porter says "Excuse me for asking sir but the first night of your honeymoon, I thought you'd be at it all night with your new bride."
"Can't" he replies, "She has really a bad dose of the clap."
"Oh, sorry to hear that sir but one hears anal is all the rage these days."
"Can't do that either, she always seems to have a bad dose of diarrhoea."
"Well what about a blow job"
"No not that either, herpes of the mouth."
"I suppose a hand jobs out the question"
"yes she has a real bad case of dermatitis."
"Well excuse me again for asking sir but why did you marry her?"...
"For the maggots"
Monkeylegend said:
ChemicalChaos said:
Monkeylegend said:
The only thing better than daffodils on your piano is tulips on your organ.
Haven't seen that in a long while.
So he played for his supper......
d gave you 50p?"
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